Hopelessly Lost (Transitioning from the Army series, Part 3)

Okay, so let's recap. So far we've covered why I decided to leave the active duty Army, and then how I started my process of transitioning into the civilian world by doing some serious self discovery of my strengths and weaknesses.

Now, I'm going to peel off the layers of how my family and I figured out just what we wanted to do. I use all the major variables (job, location, etc.) interchangeably at this point, because your future occupation (what to do) or your future location (where to go) are up in the air, and so are equally weighted for the time being.

Even though you now know what you're good at, where your strengths lie, what your passions are, etc., that still doesn't give you anything firm or specified. Odds are you'll feel untethered, just floating through the world without somewhere to firmly place your feet. Like a leaf on the wind.* The overwhelming number of choices can cripple even the most resilient planner among us. At least that's how I felt all the time and I imagine many of you do too. So let's find something concrete to grab a hold of.

"Plans are meaningless. Planning is everything" - Dwight Eisenhower.

Important caveat before we kick this thing off. As the above quote from Ike points out, it's not about having a sure-fire solution. Rather, it's going through the necessary exercises to build out options, contingencies, and all the detailed analysis involved within that is the true value of plans. Or as Mike Tyson so eloquently points out, "Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face."

a surprisingly insightful philosopher-warrior

We went through multiple iterations of what variables were important to us, and even then, we had to face hard truths when job opportunities didn't appear where we had previously expected them. So yeah, plan out your dream job in your dream city, then make darn sure you've got contingency plans. It's the system and the processes that builds the plan that is the true value, not the plan itself.

Initially, we were like kids in a candy store. The limitless possibilities was like a giant sugar rush. One week it was all about Austin - Breakfast tacos! Float the 'Lupe! SXSW! OMG, we're friggin hipsters, aren't we?

seriously though, float the 'Lupe

The next week it was DC. Then Boulder, Milwaukie, Boston, and so on. We couldn't make up our minds, and we'd get all riled up while seizing onto tactical-level details like "what up-and-coming neighborhoods in Boston are ready to be the next big thing!" and other clickbait articles we'd find on Buzzfeed. Remember what I said about losers loving tactics? Well, who's got two opposable thumbs and was a big loser? THIS GUY. It is incredibly easy to seize onto those little bits of information, like researching house values in Alexandria, VA, because it offers an excuse while you hide from the real work of actually figuring out what you should do with your new life. It's false productivity. It seems like you're doing something productive, because researching popular neighborhoods is more fun and makes you feel like you're accomplishing something. You're not, you're just procrastinating. After exhausting ourselves for a while this this fake work, we knew there had to be a better way. So we made a list.

Wife and I decided to create a "Top 5" list of our priorities when it came to our new life out of the Army. For instance, I listed "good outdoor activities" as one of my top 5. One of her priorities was to live in a market big enough to support her various business efforts while being close to family. So we each built our separate lists, then compared them and forced ourselves to build a combined, prioritized list. I strongly recommend you try something like this, a "family decision making process" that helps create a clear road map for your job hunt. This helps to focus everyone on the same objectives, as there's no escaping the agreed upon prioritized list. It will require some sweat, maybe even a bit of blood and tears, but without it, you'll end up aimless and lost.

Tip: If you're struggling to determine which priorities are more important than others, here's what I recommend. Take your respective lists, then force yourselves to cut one from the list, so it's a top 4. Then do it again, so it's a top 3 list. Then keep going, until it's only one final priority. This is your champion priority, for it has crushed all those who opposed it. This isn't easy, but that's good. Easy is for the weak.

This effort of deciding what is important to you greatly accelerates your job search simply by the fact that it eliminates so many variables you've decided weren't actually important. You decided you wanted to work in the tech industry? Guess what, now you can cross living in Wichita, Kansas off your list. But then again, EVERYONE crosses Wichita, Kansas off their lists (oooooooooooooooo, you need an ice pack for that sick burn, Wichita? - editor). As useful as making a list of things you WANT, it automatically gives you a list of all the things you DON'T WANT. When I listed "good outdoor activities" as a priority, that helped me cross off some cities that aren't well known for their outdoor scene.

Take your list of priorities along with your newly discovered strengths, and BAM! You've got one hell of a roadmap for success. Take your #1 priority (we'll use the tech industry example from above) and discover all the locations that best fit - Silicon Valley, no duh, but also Austin, Las Vegas, and so many more. Then look at your strengths (let's use my example of Learner from the last blog post) and find an occupation that will offer you the opportunity to engage that strength, like being a consultant. There ya go - find a consulting firm that caters to technology companies. Example 2 - say your priority was to pursue a degree using the GI Bill. Then stop entertaining thoughts of whether or not you should get a job and focus on learning which schools and which degrees best enhance your strengths.

"The plan is to keep the plan the plan" - Dan John

Alright, no more quotes about plans*. Dan John hits on one of the most common issues that happens to all of us - straying from the path. If you've spent all the time to craft a prioritized list of what truly matters, as well as conducted a deep dive into what your strengths and weaknesses, then you owe it to yourself to honor those efforts. It is very easy to stray from the path. Every time I pick up an Outside Magazine, I immediately say "ohhhh, I want to live there!" and start googling everything I can about some random place like Duluth, Minnesota. And if that aligns with your top priority, go for it. Otherwise, you need to keep your eye on the prize, boss. Stay on target.

this guy knows how to stay on target

So enough reading already, time for action. Go out and build that list of priorities, and make sure that they're actually listed in order of importance. Then take priority #1 and aggressively pursue it.

Bonus material: If the idea of a simple "Top 5" list seems a bit too reductionist or simplistic for you, feel free to explore more complex and thorough decision making processes. The obvious choice is the Military Decision Making Process. This can result in a serious case of feeling like a complete idiot because you just lectured your significant other that their course of action was not "sustainable". Alternatively, I recommend Dan and Chip Heath's "Decisive" book and the corresponding process called WRAP. I really like some of the systems they introduce within the book about expanding your options and preparing for failure.

Super Bonus material: A resource within the Decisive website includes a podcast specifically about finding your next job. Pretty useful.

*RIP, Walsh. Browncoats for life!

*that's a flat out lie, I'll never stop using quotes about planning.